Ketchup

Apparently I've got old movies on the brain. Who can name me the classic horror flick in which someone gets their reward? Someone most hungry for it... :)

In the meantime, we've had two winners in my torturously scattered trivia challenge, Kimberly Arnold, known previously to me only as Cat Whisperer on MySpace, and Lewis Bornmann, an awesome fan who disqualified himself months ago by acing the Name Game Contest, for which he'll be appearing in Plague Zone as USAF Captain Bornmann, no doubt to experience a horrific death. Wait for November! Asimov's is already into page proofs for "A Lovely Little Christmas Fire" and they'd scream if I tried to swap in a new name at this point, so Ms. Arnold will find herself suddenly in... whoops! I almost said the title! Ms. Arnold will find herself suddenly in the Big New Secret Thriller, again no doubt to experience a cinematic and awful death. What is my problem!?

This goofy contest originated at Norwescon, post PKDs, where I was talking with some strangers when I abruptly went sideways with the conversation and declared, "And then... the oral sex!"

The woman looked at me oddly but the guy laughed, recognizing the line from Monty Python's The Holy Grail. He told us a funny story about an office gag in which his co-workers needed ask, on TV, "When is a duck not a duck?" "WHEN IT'S A WITCH!" he screamed. But his co-workers only looked at him as blankly as our current partymate looked at me when I said it was time for you know what. Well. The next day, talking with the astounding SunnyJim Morgan, one of the organizers of the con, she mentioned that she could read and write fluently in Elvish. Don't ask me how this came up in conversation. I was wasted on caffeine and sleep deprivation. I said, "Oh yeah?" She said, "Oh yeah." So I said, "I bet you can't write 'When Is A Duck Not A Duck?' in Elvish." But sure enough, when I was home, GirlJim emailed me that phrase exactly.

What was I to do with it? Certainly I wasn't going to hide it forever in my computer! So I put it on my blog.

How were you to know all of this? Beats the heck out me. ;)

Even worse, the line "When is a duck not a duck" doesn't even appear in the movie. But close. Oh, so very close.


Monty Python and the Holy Grail - Burn the Witch!!!!! - More amazing video clips are a click away

Labels: Monty Python, Norwescon 32, trivia contest winners

Life continues to be nuts!!! In the meantime, if you missed it, here's a YouTube video of my introduction for Starship Sofa for their podcast of "Gunfight at the Sugarloaf Pet Food & Taxidermy."

Labels: Podcast Gunfight StarShipSofa Asimov's YouTube

Life has been like John Irving novel. Well, maybe not that dramatic, but very busy. I'm behind on everything. Maybe someday I'll dish about it. In the meantime, StarShipSofa has released "Gunfight" as a podcast narrated by Diane Severson, who strikes just the wry note of humor.

Somebody needs to do this story as a film, that's what I think. It's peppy and action-packed and original. Heck, there are zombie deer! :)

If you haven't already, you can check it out here.

Labels: Podcast Gunfight StarShipSofa Asimov's

Color me happy. I think this is my strongest cover yet. Certainly it's eye-catching, gritty, and wild... And here's the funny part. When I talk about my books in person or online, I like to poke fun at myself and explain that while, yes, of course, they're excellently written and full of moving human drama and real emotion, at the core these novels are also supposed to be fun, so they're full of exploding helicopters and super-cool advanced weapons technology.

Well, apparently Ace thinks so, too. A huge thanks to Judith Murello and Eric Williams, the design team behind the series artwork. They must have read the books! There really is an exploding helicopter in this one...

Feast! Feast your eyes!

Labels: Ace Books, PLAGUE ZONE cover art

"The Niners are set to take the snap. Here comes the ball... It's a fake! It's a fake! The kicker grabs the ball and runs for the strong side of the line! I think he's going to make it!"

That's what the announcer would be saying if this was a football game. I have yet to see cover art from my American publisher, who has the book, but here's some nice, spooky, eye-grabbing cover art from my German publisher, who doesn't have the book. Go figure. Fortunately, the cover makes sense with the storyline. Piper Verlag did ask me what the book is about and clearly they're not messing around. They've got INFEKT slated for February 2010. It's ready to fly. Except for the pages that, you know, go between the covers. We'll translate that stuff soon. :)

Labels: Infekt, Piper Verlag, PLAGUE ZONE

Emailed from a fan in Spain: sweet, sweet pornography for those who read, write, and love books. Look at the sweet young thang perched there on that shelf. Firm. Dark. Intelligent. Mmmmm.

No word yet on where exactly in Spain this store is located. More soon.

Labels: Antidoto, book porno, Spain

So it's been nuts. Researching. Outlining. A homeowners' meeting. Family stuff. I have been neglectful of this blog again, but here's a fun little video we made while recording my introduction for Starship Sofa's awesome, awesome podcast of "Long Eyes." Maybe the camera was too close. We were trying different angles. Won't happen again.

Labels: Long Eyes, Starship Sofa, YouTube