The Chewbacca Defense

We live in northern California in a small old house built in 1961, when everybody but everybody was putting in pools.  The old-timers on the street tell us the owner used dynamite to blast a crater into the sandstone.  Try doing that without a permit in 2016!

Our pool is a huge, deep, uneven rectangle with a vinyl liner.  Vinyl is not a high-end surface but it’s one that actually serves us well since the concrete has lifted and shifted and cracked.  The real problem is that the skimmer and the returns are too small for a massive pool of this size.  Years ago, there was also a bottom in-take but the pipes have since collapsed.  Circulation is a problem.  Algae is a problem.  We chlorinate the heck out of it and vacuum more often than we’d like.

Exacerbating the algae problem is the ongoing development of super strains in our area, and I have two related stories for you that more-or-less are sci fi stories…

We normally don’t use a pool service because they’re too expensive and I don’t like random people appearing in our yard, but there have been times when I felt too busy to keep up with the pool myself, so we temporarily subscribed.  I often picked the brains of the guys who showed up because I’m very much an amateur chemist, not a pro.  I try to learn as much as I can.

Five years ago, I asked one guy, “Man, are you really putting that much chlorine into the pool?”  He said, “Oh, yes, sir, we have to.  There’s a new algae that’s really tough, so we have to nuke it.”

“How do you suppose it travels from one pool to another?” I asked.

“We don’t know, sir.  Birds, maybe.  Or the wind.”

“Maybe you are carrying it from pool to pool.”

“Definitely not, sir.  That’s impossible.”

Actually, it seemed very possible.  And as soon as I cancelled their service and re-nuked the pool myself, we didn’t have any algae problems again for years.  Go figure.

In the meantime, I visit our local pool store every week or two to load up on liquid chlorine.  The same guys have been there forever and we have good time b.s.ing about kids and work and politics and so forth.  Over time, they’ve learned that I write sci fi and tech thrillers.  One of them is the crusty old manager (we’ll call him Joe), who I consider a friend.  Joe is energetic and well-spoken and funny.

Joe is also a contrarian.  He’s made it known that he doesn’t truck with science and he definitely believes evolution is a hoax.  He confided in me that he’s studied the studies and the whole thing is a sham.  There’s no way we evolved from apes.

Normally I buy two cases of liquid chlorine.  Our yard gets a lot of sun, the pool is huge, and with two cases I’m set for a couple weeks.  Remember, I’m supposed to be writing my next book, not driving down to the pool store to hang out and chew the fat.  Recently, Joe said to me, “You might want to buy three cases.  Liquid chlorine just isn’t working like it used to.  You need more than ever.”

“Why is it that?”

“There’s a new strain of algae going around.  It’s chlorine-resistant.”

“Huh,” I said.  But I thought: Okay, let me stop ya right there.  In your decades of running a pool store, you’ve seen algae change again and again…  In fact, you’ve seen it evolve.  Yes, I realize algae isn’t a higher organism, but see how that logic ain’t logical?

Next up:  Politics!  (The horror.  Oh, the horror.)

This ain’t fun.  This is a job doing research on bestselling novels.
This ain’t fun. This is a job doing research on bestselling novels.

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Thriller writer Jeff Carlson © 2024. All Rights Reserved.